Today's Highlights

I had a doctor apt today that was quite eventful. FIRST of all... I weighed in at 146... so 38 pounds gained... which is ACTUALLY a relief because my weight gain seems to be teetering off... I mean I'm still GAINING but not like 10 pounds more every time I go... (hush. I know I'm going more often now.. so THAT's WHY it seems less of a jump on the scale... but I'd really like to relish in the hopes that I won't break 160 in the next five weeks).

And then I got CHECKED (and you already KNOW my feelings ON that. JOYOUS feelings. I couldn't have been more excited about putting my legs in the stirrups if my dentist would've told me he was giving me a root canal with no anesthetics). So after the doctor sent me almost flying off the chair, squealing like a piglet, she told me she felt the head. (With as far up as she jabbed I was thinking.. MINE or HIS?) Then she told me that he's in position and I'm not completely closed. (Whatever the heck that means... I figured I couldn't be completely closed after she stuck her whole arm in me anyway). So that wasn't all too exciting. I was not so secretly HOPING she would say, "well I'll BE! You're 4 cm dialated! You'll have this baby out by the end of the week!" But no such luck. Then she asked if I had any more concerns.

I had to tell her, on Starling's STRICT orders, about me falling down this morning. I told her it wasn't too big a deal, but my husband inSISTED I tell my doctor in case I had ripped something. She asked what I was doing when I fell. "Trying to put my pants on." She and the nurse cracked up. I said, "It sounded a lot worse than it was because I had both feet in the pants and when I lost my balance I tried to catch hold of my closet door. Of course the door had enough sense to bolt when it saw a hippo coming at it so I just slammed into it on my way to the ground." It sounded like a gun shot went off. Starling, of course, TOTALLY over reacted. (Normally he would've been cracking up at such a scene, which HAD to be a funny sight. "I" was cracking up lying on the ground just THINKING of how it must've looked). But he DRAMATICALLY inquired, "WENDI!!! WHAT HAPPENED!? ARE YOU OKAY!?" And I stopped giggling long enough to say, "I just fell down trying to put on my pants." Which sent me into another giggling spell. He was NOT in the least bit amused. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I looked up from the floor and said, "obviously NOT." He had to examine me head to toe and kept asking me the same three questions every three minutes. "Is the baby moving? Are you cramping? Are you bleeding?" And every 3 minutes I'd say, "Starling. I'm on my way to the doctor. Chill."

SOOO when my doc was done laughing, which she kept apologizing for, she told me she'd stick me on a monitor just to be sure she didn't see any probs. So twenty minutes LATER she told me I looked fine and said, "If the baby stops moving, if you start cramping, or start bleeding call me." (Which almost made me giggle again thinking of Starling and his little Doctor Johnson self).

I went home and was so sore all over I just laid in my bed and took a nap. I woke up and took Brooklyn to Tophers because I've been craving their shake and incredible bacon something something burger. Well... LAST time Starling gave me the chocolate bacon shake and it was inCREDIBLE. I didn't taste any bacon, just ice chunks that were absolutely a pregnant woman's dream. (I love chunks of ice crystals in my ice cream...) So I ask the dude at the front if all of their ice cream has ice crystal chunks or just the bacon one. He said, "Those were the bacon chunks. Our other icecream is completely smooth." So I got the bacon one again.
WELL- it was NOT made the same as the first time... I took my first sip and a big CHUNK of SALTY, GREESY bacon came THROUGH the straw, onto my taste bud, and I gagged! I took another sip. AND GAGGED. I let Brooklyn sip it. She made a face and said, "No... don't want it, arce tream, n-more"
I finally just took the shake back to the front and said, "I'm sorry... I can't drink this. This tastes nothing like the shake I had last time... this is salty and nasty..." The guy looked at me like I was an idiot. "Yeah.. it has bacon in it." But he made me a regular chocolate shake that HAD ice crystals in it and I was happy. I love thier shakes.

So then I went BACK home, ALMOST got Brooklyn to sleep when BANG BANG BANG.. neighbor at the door. Then I FINALLY got her to take a nap by about 3:30 or 4:00 and I slept, too. (I had NEGATIVE amounts of energy today... probably because Brighton woke me up at 4 a.m. leaving me feeling like there was a crab clamping my bladder and I got up to pee every thirty minutes until my alarm went off at 7:00). So we woke up at 6:30 PM (and I felt like a complete BUM who got NOTHING accomplished ALL DAY... bc I DIDn'T) and told Brooklyn we at least had to go run all the errands on my list that I was supposed to do after my doc apt, but didn't because I could barely walk.

NOW shopping with Brooklyn is ALWAYS eventful. I never know WHAT kind of mood she'll take up and it usually varies from store to store. For Old Navy she INSISTED on taking her baby doll that is 30 years old and I am NOT using the Wendi-Factor on that one... it was given to her from my 30 something year old cousin. It's bald, dirty, and is wearing a nightgown. AND she wasn't satified with JUST taking her baby... she ALSO had to have her singing bear that is as TALL as her and WEIGHS as MUCH as her. Remember Old Navy doesn't have buggies in the parking lot. I had to CARRY BROOKLYN who weighs 22 pounds while holding her doll (that's head weighs at least 5 pounds) and that dang bear that HAS to weigh at least 15 pounds. And of course I drug in Brooklyn's diaper bag because I would rather LUG around that 20 pound bag then lock all the doors in that van. (BECAUSE- remember- it has power NOTHING). So by the time I even GOT to the door I was panting and couldn't catch my breath. And then the child has the audacity to WHINE because SHE wants to push the cart thing WHILE holding both her GINORMOUS toys. So we are moving about an inch every three minutes. And everytime I try to STEER the buggy I get a sharp, "NO, MOMMY... Brooklyn has ta do it!" Well, I let her say that twice. Then I got down in her little stubborn face and put the fear of MOMMY into her. She got her tail in the cart, held on for dear life, I got my flip flops and her a swim suit in 5 minutes and we got out.

THEN we had to go to TARGET where I had to find ME a swimtop (bc none of Old Navy's were cutting it)... I of course pick a couple of cute SMALL swimsuits because I've never worn anything but, and some x-small and even some SMALL (since I'm pregnant) sophe shorts... Brooklyn is in a JOYFUL mood now, singing and waving to all of the shoppers. We go to the dressing room and Brooklyn is just chattering away in a very LOUD voice. "MOMMY! Look'ed at DI-IS!" I look. "A little chair! That's nice, Brooklyn." I'm trying to take my pants off WITHOUT busting my butt with little success as I'm teetering.
"Dis is a CUTE chair, Mommy! Wanna sit on da chair, Mommy?"
Finally, after five minutes, I'm out of my pants.
"No thank you Brooklyn. You can sit on it."
Brooklyn looks up and gives me a pat on my now undressed bum. "I lub your booty, Mommy." I yank her hand off my butt and say, "err.. thank you? Please don't touch Mommy's bum... your invading my bubble.. go sit in your chair."
So she obeys. "MOMMY LOOK! I lub a mir-uh, Mommy! I got you Brook Brook!" I give her a glance. "Don't stick your mouth on the mirror, Brooklyn."
I SQUEEEEEEZE into the tankinni top which surprisingly fits FINE on my enormous GUT but the top... NOT so much.
"MOMMY! You're so PRETTY, MOMMy!" I stop mid examination and unfurl my eyebrows and pursed lips. I give Brooklyn the most adoring smile, "THANK you, BROOKLYN! I'm gonna keep you, little Miss! You are such a sweet complimentor!" And she goes back to singing to herself in the mirror.
I pull the x-small shorts over my butt which is NO LONGER an EXTRA SMALL butt! Brooklyn loses all her brownie points when she says, "TOO SMALL!! Mommy es TOO BIG."
And then I put on the small shorts and she says, "TOO SMALL!! Es too little, Mommy." My teeth are clenched as I try to nicely say, "THANK you, BROOKLYN for pointing out the OBVIOUS."
So then I get COMPLETELY dressed and haul ALL of my WOULD BE purchases to the "I can't FIT into these cute clothes bc I'm FAT" rack and head to find bigger sizes. I look behind me and realize Brooklyn is still playing in the dressing room. "Come ON BROOKLYN"
"I'm tumming!" She sings as she doesn't BUDGE. "Look Mommy! A STICK-TER!" Its a long sticker she has pulled off the floor that says SMALL. She can't walk straight because she's attempting to wrap it around her arm like a bracelet. I throw her in the buggy and go back to the shorts rack. I hold up a medium. "NO WAY will those fit me. They are HUGE. My butt HAS NOT GOTTEN THAT BIG." I go get a medium top... (that was with no trepidation... I'll gladly accept and WELCOME more stuff at the top of me). We head back to the dressing room and Brooklyn starts taking HER clothes off because, "Es mine turn!" I let her strip while my eyes bulge at the fact that the shorts that look enormous to my eyes fit my butt perfectly. "Insane. Well I'm only getting two pair because in three months these better be too big."
"HEY BUGGY!!" I look at to see my stripped child laying on the floor WAVING to our buggy from under the dressing room door. "BROOKLYN, get off the FLOOR! Lets put your clothes on!"
"Noooo... I wanna wear dis dress..."
"That's not a dress Brooklyn... that's a swim-suit. Its for Mommy. Now get your clothes on."
"MOMMY, I got antsies!" And then she takes off her shoes to show me the ANTS that are on her.
"You don't have antsies, Brooklyn. Put your shoes on. Target is trying to CLOSE! We're going to get stuck in here if you don't come on!"
"*SIGH*oTAY, Mommy."
So then we left Target while they are TURNING the lights off on us in the dressing room and went to Wal-Mart to get some groceries. By the time we got home I couldn't even climb out of the van. I just sat there. For about three or four minutes just DREADING having to stand up. Only because Brighton gave me a swift punch in the bladder did I stand up and slowly crawl to the bathroom. Then I sat on the couch and said, "Starling, please unload the car- I can't move." BRIGHTON on the other hand coulnd't QUIT moving. Knowing his head is down in my pelvis really confuses things. There are TWO very large lumps that appear on both sides of my stomach while two to four little jabby things stab out of my stomach all at the same time. I just assumed that his butt and head were the two giant round things, but I don't know now. Starling got to see Brighton's full foot down to the outline of his toes stabbing about an inch tall out of the left side of my stomach. I like Starling to witness Brighton's flailings so he understands my exhaustion. Its impossible to sleep when there is something INSIDE trying to climb OUT. It makes for some CRAZY dreams!
Anyway- Its 2 a.m. and I need to lay down and PRAY this little rugrat in my womb will GO TO SLEEP and give me a few moments of peace.