Monday, April 4, 2011

The Battle of the Bucks

I recently was in the process of chewing out... I mean having a DISCUSSION with my husband… about how to spend his paychecks. I know I lot of sexist men out there might be of the opinion that "He who makes the money dictates how to spend the money." WELL- it don't BE that way in MY CRIB." I want our house to operate something like, "He who makes the money, pays the bills. The LEFTOVER money gets to pay off big things like EXTRA money toward the house (so it doesn't actually TAKE us 30 years to pay it off) or toward renovating our house or SOMETHING that we actually NEED". I've created a list of things we DO not NEED.
1. motorcycle
2. ANOTHER four-wheeler (or the one we already HAVE)
3. Subaru, Caravan, Bronco, AND Altima. (We only need two.. preferably the Altima and Caravan. THAT way I can drive BOTH since the SUBI AND Bronco are sticks and Starling refuses to teach me to drive a stick)
4. TWO trailers (I get needing the double axel one- though our neighbor and Starling's DAD have offered to let him use THEIRS anytime... and we're keeping the little one bc it’s a good FOUR-WHEELER trailer??? oKAY...)
5. BowFlex (seriously what person ACTUALLY uses their home gym?? and where would we put it? Starling BARELY uses the gym membership he HAS and that's with FRIENDS going with him).
Those are just the FIVE things that popped into my head. (and the FIVE searches I saw on EBAY). There are plenty MORE things that we don’t need.
Starling’s JUSTIFICATION for buying ALL of his WANTS is: “I sold my motorcycle that I had and made a profit on it so I can use that money to either buy a bike of greater value than the old one- using the entire sum- OR buy several things with the money.” I think he referred to it as his “investment fund” that he keeps SEPARATE because the original motorcycle came INTO our marriage and he never “had” to sale it… AND while that appears to be PERFECTLY sound logic, I don’t LIKE IT ONE BIT! And so I decided to get myself a WANT list of a bunch of expensive, random, useless things I could just BLOW my money on… Amazingly… it was more difficult than I thought… I don’t really “WANT” anything. So I had to do some SERIOUS pondering… If I were to decide to sale the Altima, which Starling said I have every right to do and spend that money HOWEVER I see fit, I suppose I would just keep driving the van- only $1500 spent there, buy a Jacuzzi to go next to our gazebo (I found some nice ones on ebay for $2000), HIRE someone to do all of our landscaping instead of BIG OLE PreGO ME and busy out his wa-zoo Starling, pay someone to rip out our driveway and redo a DOUBLE drive and while they were at it pour a larger patio in the back, pay someone to close in the breezeway and renovate it accordingly… (WELL actually, none of those are really comparable because Starling wants all that stuff, too…) hmmm… I’m having a hard time coming up with something I could want that Starling would think is a useless piece of CRAP like I feel about his stuff… he’d like a Corvette or Jeep, or a tennis court, or a waterfall in our back yard, or a new fence… He’d probably have more fun on a giant Diddy Bops in my backyard than me… OH I KNOW! I’d turn our backyard into a petting ZOO fully equipped with goats, sheep, chickens, rabbits, ponies, and a baby elephant. And I wouldn’t charge ANY money for people to come visit. (If I charged money, Starling would consider it an investment and be happy about it).

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