Today was LOVELY. I pulled my eyelids apart at 7:30 a.m. I'd been wide eyed up until SEVEN because Brooklyn was having vivid nightmares and Brighton was making his morning poopy. You may be wondering what on EARTH a two year old has NIGHTMARES about. Well... I was curious myself this morning at FIVE a.m. when Brooklyn's arm SMACKED me in the face and she started shrieking. I have NO idea WHAT time she climbed in bed with us, but she's there EVERY morning so I wasn't surprised. "Shhh... you're okay..." I moaned at her.

"NOOO Mommy! Don't climb the POTTY!" Hmm.
"Okay, Brooklyn. I won't climb the potty." I've learned to play along with her dreams- and NOT argue with her. She gets INCREDIBLY defensive if I say something like... "What are you talking about? I'm not climbing the potty." Apparently she is WATCHING me do it SOOOO she goes ballistic ALL the while completely asleep.
She calmed down when I told her I wouldn't climb. But THEN, as I apparently KEPT climbing, she screamed, as if her limbs were being torn from her body, "MOMMAY!!!! GET DOWN!" I have NO idea what is SOOO horrendous about Mommies climbing toilets, but it obviously rivals dragons and man eating gators in two year old minds. SO- I'm telling all parents- as TEMPTING as it may be.. DO NOT CLIMB the POTTY... you could traumatize your children FOREVER.

I finally had to SHAKE her awake because my face was taking QUITE a beating. FUNNY how she never whacks STARLING's face. (He is smart and always puts a pillow between him and her. I can't FIT a pillow between us because she squeezes so close to me if someone removed her and looked at my side... they'd see Brooklyn's body's indention. The child is a Mommy Tic. BUT at least she doesn't suck my blood).

So after I FINALLY woke Brooklyn up, she was happy as a fish that just escaped a pelican's beak. One would NEVER suspect that minutes earlier she'd been the poster child for Psycho. She kissed all over me while singing, "Mommy... I LOOOVE you... Mommy... I LOOOVE your chinny chin chin! Mommy... you are SOOOO sweeeet..." And then she crashed like a car and was a peaceful bolder on my left arm. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"arrrr.!!.. uuuughhh!!!" Brighton. I glanced over at him. His head had turned into a tomato and he sounded like he was trying to birth quadruplets. "AHHHH!" Not a cry... a scream... this continued for about FIFTEEN minutes. He was kicking his legs with all his might and contorting his little face into VERY unattractive expressions of STRAIN. Then "UUUUUHHHHHGHGHG!!!" An EXPLOSION errupted. "ah..." he moaned. Then he was out cold like NOTHING ever happened. My eyes were round as the moon as I turned to my right arm, which Brighton had curled around, and was drooling. I just KNEW I was going to see orange terd splattered all over my down comforter. BUT the diaper caught ALL the poop. Thank you Pamper Swaddlers size 1... You hold SOOO much more dookey than size Newborn. (That is ALWAYS my answer to changing diapers.. don't change diapers more OFTEN, just get a BIGGER diaper that holds more).

I yawned as I lay in my bed thinking how much I don't sleep. I looked to my left again at Brooklyn dreaming with a half smile on her lips. 'She is so beautiful with her little chubby legs stabbing my side,' I thought. Then I looked at Starling. 'He's so cute with his mouth hanging wide open occassionaly releasing a snort.' And then I turned to my right again. 'Brighton is'..."blurp"... 'uuuhhhggg..Brighton is such a cute little baby, so sweet and kissable... and SOOooOO nice to share his breakfast.' I looked around for a burp rag. It was JUST out of reach. I looked at the spit up draining down my arm, side, and stomach. Is it WORTH moving both babies off me? None was touching the BED... I glanced at the time... seven. I finally drifted off to sleep. BUT my alarm reminded me to get up at seven thirty. NOOOoooo... But Charkley was already up and excitedly whining because he had to pee. (And of course STARLING hadn't taken him to pee when HE got up).

I straightened my hair for the first time in a MONTH and put on make-up. BUT the only thing that fit my body was a t-shirt and jeans so HEAD was as far as "pretty" got. (And it still left WAY too much to be desired). I was about to ask Starling if he could keep an eye on the kids when he planted a kiss on my lips and told me he was leaving. Darn. SOOO I hauled up my two kiddos and headed to Wesley. My great friend, Keisha, had a gorgeous baby boy and the calvary headed in to visit. My friend Whitney and her little one Leigha, Stephi, and me with MY two children. I did NOT attempt the double stroller that doesn't fit through doors, though I think it would fit through Wesley's doors. I brought the single stroller that I reclined FLAT, laid Brighton down, sat Brooklyn in the front and told her she could SHARE or Walk. She merrily rode asking Brighton if he was having fun. He responded by sprawling out like an overfed pup and sleeping.

It was terrific seeing Keisha. We went through our Church Youth Program together and haven't been in touch for WAY too long. She's joined the married with a kid club. I hope it was a good experience for her seeing US. She very well MAY have been overwhelmed. There was Brighton grunting and rooting around when he woke up deciding it must be lunch time, Leigha throwing herself on the ground, and Brooklyn squealing, "Where did my belly button go!?" As she pulled her entire dress OVER her head. Keisha is probably second guessing a SECOND child right now. But HER little baby was perfect! (They always ARE in the hospital... they save the terror times for when you get home, the hubby goes back to work, the mom decides you can handle it, and you finally decide you really do have a WONDERFULLY behaved baby. THAT'S when they pull out the BIG GUNS. Sleepless nights, projectile vomit, 'I HAVE to be held at all times' crying, etc). I hope for her sake, she keeps help handy or that she is the BIG exception!

When we left the hospital, since I was ALL dolled up in my blue jeans with my GORGEOUS love handles hanging out for the lustful eye to salivate over, I HAD to make an appearance at Wal Mart. I modeled down the runway of the frozen food section, gracefully removing the essentials... frozen fish sticks and chicken nuggets. OH- and of course more ice cream for my daily chocolate shakes (Those handles need help keeping on all that LOVE). I pranced through the fruit aisle and GREEDILY snatched up the FATTEST watermelon I could FIND. I knocked on it. Then I realized I have no idea what SOUND it’s supposed to make if its ripe, SO I WENT with it. I've been CU-RRRRAAAAVING watermelon and I NEVER have cash to buy one off the side of the road. (CELL phones should include a credit card swiper. Actually... that's probably a TERRIBLE idea for identity theft).

I bought bacon so that I could make BLT's, checked out, started driving home, and realized I forgot the L and the T. BUT I remembered mayonnaise. (THAT'll be another trip to the store tomorrow. SIGH). And speaking of forgetting things! I don't know HOW I have been blessed with such a RESPONSIBLE two year old. She NEVER ceases to AMAZE me with her WIERDNESS. I started backing out of the parking lot when Brooklyn let out a panicked SCREECH, “MOMMAY!!! OH NO!!” I slammed on brakes and said, “Brooklyn, what’s wrong??” She was nearly in tears. “Oh! Mommy… my buckle!” I looked. In my mad rush to load all the groceries before I MELTED in the heat, I hadn’t buckled her in. I remedied the situation and she said, “Thank YOU! That’s much BETTER!” I just shook my head and pumped my boob at the red light.

Then we went over to Jessie’s so that Brooklyn and Layla could get out of the house and play in the pool. Of course Brooklyn won’t go outside without MOMMY so Jessie and I put on our swimsuits and sat in the kiddy pool while the girls played in the “rain” (the sprinkler). It was so NICE to sit in the sun and bake. Brooklyn kept getting stuck on the motorized four-wheeler. Layla, and her heroic self, yelled to Brooklyn as she scrambled to get to her, “I’ll rescue you, Broo-klyn!” It was so cute. Now Brooklyn is “ESTER-LiZING.” I think she’s attempting push-ups.