Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Mower

Let’s see if I can type an entire blog in ONE sitting. (NOT likely since it’s taken me THREE tries to type the first sentence. My darling’s are “sharing” bubbles outside). That’s always a successful venture. Leaving them alone to SHARE. (And I’ve already had to go break them up AGAIN and dig the bubble wand out twice. WHY do the makers of bubbles sell a two foot tall bubble container with a two inch tall wand??)

So I have to blog about my anniversary gift! (Which is JUNE third- but Starling and I label things we purchase as gifts to save ourselves the trouble of remembering important dates in the event Facebook fails to remind us in enough time to prepare). So we are doing good! We remembered our anniversary three months early! And maybe we’ll actually be able to celebrate an anniversary since, for ONCE, I’m not barely done with having a BABY. We got THAT one out of the way six months EARLY. (See? Looking on the bright side of having two baby boys 18 months apart…). ANYWAY- he bought ME a zero turn lawn mower. (You see, he’s figured it out. If he buys toys for ME then he is rewarded with smiles and acceptance. Opposed to red-faced screaming, “YOU BOUGHT WHAT?!?!?” And even though I KNOW that’s what he is doing… it still works… well most of the time. You’ll notice he IS selling the motorcycle he bought ME).

It’s no secret that I choose yard work over house work 11 times out of 10. Give me a rake, a blower, a weed-eater (if you are feeling really brave), a paint brush, whatever! I LOVE to work OUTSIDE in the fresh air and the sunshine! As does Starling. So we are both very GRACIOUS about mowing as opposed to dishes, toilet scrubbing, and tooth-brushing baseboards. But even “I” draw the line at mowing five ACRES with a push mower. A push mower I am too weak to crank. So I was almost as thrilled as Brighton when Starling drove up with a giant lawn mower.

Brighton had climbed the trailer and was sitting in the driver’s seat before Starling even got out of the van. (The van makes an AWESOME truck! That can haul three carseats. Which is why we have two vans. OH the joys of being a rabbit). So getting the mower OFF the trailer shouldn’t be hard right? Reverse. The opposite of putting it ON the trailer. Well the angle was WAY too steep to drive it off. SOOO we disconnected the trailer from the van and jacked up the front of the trailer. That helped the angle. But not anchored, the trailer was a bit… umm.. wobbly? I don’t know- picture it in your mind. A giant mower going off a big trailer at a steep angle. Starling told ME to SIT on the front of the trailer to HOLD it DOWN. Now. Obviously he was functioning on near-a-none sleep. I weigh 115 pounds. The mower weighs- oh… a thousand?!? And ME, completely trusting my brainiac husband, immediately hops on WHILE holding BRIGHTON (you know- so he doesn’t get HURT). THANK goodness Starling had the light bulb idea to yell, “HOLD ON TIGHT IN CASE IT CATAPOLTS YOU OFF!” as he drives over the ledge of the trailer. AND as I shoot about eight feet into the air. I’m on the tallest see-saw I’ve never wanted to ride, suspended in the air and all I can yell is, “DON’T!!!” As Starling yells, “HOLD ON!” and REVS the mower to a safe landing. WISH I could say the same about my BUTT. My butt slammed down SO hard onto that metal trailer that I near about chipped a tooth. I hopped, or more like FELL off, holding a Brighton that was grinning EAR to EAR ready to go for round two, and I was MORE than willing to let him- this time with STARLING HOLDING down the trailer.

BUT, Starling promptly apologized and let me drive the mower without forcing me to sit through a six hour lecture on HOW to drive it and HOW to brake it, and a 45 minute list of all the things I did to our LAST riding lawn mower…s… that landed them in the mower grave-yard. Which was WELL worth the three and a half foot BRUISE down the back of my butt/leg. He did run along side of me telling me that the belts are expensive so PLEASE go SLOW and DON’T wreck it. I nodded and went as slow as possible…. Until he went inside. Then I had to test its speed. It’s like a flippin go cart meets the spinning tea cups at the fair! I was spinning that thing like a bar stool. Almost slung myself right off. I did catch a limb in the face and didn't know how to brake so I reved on through it. I have a lovely sliced face to show for my joyride. And I got some giant stand of Starling's stuck under the mower but got loose before he caught me. (Starling doesn't read my blog so he will never know if some loudmouth doesn't rat me out in the Wal Mart grocery line). Starling may have wised up because he brought BOTH Brooklyn AND Brighton to ride with me. SOooOoo it was back to poke- poke slow. But STILL- it was totally therapeutic. Watching three feet tall hay and little scrawny trees disappear under the blades and emerge… DUST. And it’s the kind of progress that lasts a full WEEK! (Unlike vacuuming that lasts until nap time is over).

All was well. The kids were in Heaven. Heck, it was better than riding “Paw Paw’s Choo Choo Tain,” as Bry calls it, at Kamper Park. We definitely saw more animals! There were birds, squirrels, rabbits, lizards, cats, and even some weird looking Prarie Dogs that Starling said are giant rats. The only things Kamper Park has on us are the “Striped horseys” and the “Giant Goat.”

Starling took a turn mowing while I nursed Boeing (only downfall about the mower. CAN’T operate it one handed. Trust me. I tried). Then I went back out and he said, “Two more laps!” So I put on dinner. (Canned green beans and BOILED potatoes- something not out of a box or a can. I know you are applauding). I ran back out and said, “You’re in charge of meat!” And resumed my place. SUCH a nice day!

AND on top of THAT we had a work crew actually SHOW up to WORK! They got the sheetrock hung in Brighton’s room and mudded in Brooklyn’s room. They didn’t show up the entire week to FINISH it… BUT they are SUPPOSEDLY coming back THIS week. (I’m NOT dipping the paintbrush or anything)! Lately our workers have been about as reliable as balled tires. On a car with NO brakes. Driving in a Flood. In 5 o’clock traffic. In Atlanta. JUST SAYIN. It was a great day!