Communication or Lack thereof??

I went to school for several different things before deciding on a major, the final one being Psychology. And you are probably thinking it, my professors all said it, and I admit it; people who go into psychology have something wrong with them that they are either openly or subconsciously trying to fix. Well... I guess I THOUGHT I wanted to help fix OTHER people... but after studying the books on "healthy communication" I decided I'm all KINDS of screwed up.

BAD: using the silent treatment WENDI: favorite form of dealing with TICKED off. BAD: monopolizing conversation (or taking over conversation) WENDI: I couldn't NOT monopolize a conversation if you ducked taped my mouth shut and put me in a corner. Though I am trying to work on this. BAD: rambling WENDI: Rambles on and on and ON when audience is no longer attentive (or in my case with Starling- unconscious).

But, of course, I ALSO noticed that STARLING has communication problems. Like... BAD: tuning out wife STARLING: TUNES out WIFE. (well... that's pretty much the biggy).

I have expressed my need to STarling. NEED: TO TALK, VENT, RAMBLE, anYthing that comes into my head for at least 15 min a day. Starling agreed to try and focus on my train of thought, no matter where it may derail, for that alloted time.

It was pretty late. Brooklyn was asleep and I was laying in the bed. Starling was sitting on our bedroom floor staring at our master bathroom that is still in the renovation stage of stagnant. I start my fifteen minutes of communication by saying, "You are going to finish school in May right before the baby is born and then doing your internship right after. Can't you do your internship AFTER the summer?"
Starling half moans, half answers, "yeah if I want to pay a lot of extra money."
Wendi: "oh. so that's a no. Well, I guess I'll just have to figure something out. My mom will be out for the summer so she'll probably be able to take Brooklyn alot."
Starling: "We need to go pick out what tile we want around that tub."
Wendi: "I need you to finish moving those shelves out of Brighton's room so I can start decorating."
Starling: "I already have most the tile for the tub, but we'll need some decorative tile to break up the stuff I already got."
Wendi: "How long will it take you to move all that stuff out of the play room? I really want to paint that back wall in a sailor mural but your old bed is in the way."
Starling: "I bet that Hudson's stock has some good stuff for tiling. Maybe I can swing by there after school tomorrow."
Wendi: "I'd like to paint next weekend. I'm going to do a big boat with the sail, which I may do out of cloth for the COOL effect, and the bed can look like part of the boat."
Starling: "I gotta get that sheet rock mudded and sanded then we can paint the dang bathroom."
Wendi: "Yeah. That'd be good. Well I'm going to bed. Nice talk."
Starling: "Huh? Yeah. Good talk."

So.. I guess my need to talk was fulfilled. I need to express my desire to be LISTENED to. And then there is the other form of tuning out wife that I hate. The, "Uh huh..." the, "yeah..." the, "that sounds good..." after I ask a question like, "Would you rather eat left over chili or order pizza?" "uh huh??? uh huh, WHAT?" "yeah.. yeah WHAT??" "that sounds good??? WHAT sounds good??"

Well, I hope that Starling is learning his lesson about the latter tuning out wife. I read him the blog about me scaring him while he was SUPPOSED to be listening. He made zero comments through its entirety besides a couple of "uh huh's." So when I finished reading it and he didn't say anything I said, "That's cool with you if ppl read this?" He nodded,"sounds good."

So I posted with a grin on my face, knowing he didn't listen to a word I said. The next day when people were asking him about "cowboy crotch" he read my blog. "WENDI!!!!!!! WHAT ON EARTH!!!!" I told him the truth... I cleared it with you first babe. You shouldn't agree to something you TUNED OUT!