Well, before you feel bad for my family... like- that they have nowhere to EAT now... DON'T. Be happy for the TABLE... it's finally getting USED!! I'm making Tu Tu's! They are called Tu Tu Cute! (Cheesy is good! Back up off me). $15 a piece! (I was going to sell them for like TEN bucks... until I wasn't done making ONE after an HOUR... kind of WAY time consuming). I'm starting to see why all those little hand made dresses that look WAY easy to make (unless you are like me and can't work a sewing machine...) cost more than heart transplant. THAT must be why China makes all of our clothes. But, despite all of this... I STILL enjoy making cutsie little things to sale. (Ummm... assuming that ONE day someone is going to BUY something from me...)
SOOO far- I've spent well over a hundred bucks on ribbon for hairbows... and then I went BACK to get tulle... WELL then I bought some MATERIAL... (ALL justified because, "STARLING- I'm going to SELL this stuff!!") AND FOR CHEAP, I said... So... IF I pay myself China Sweatshop wages... I MAY break even.
BUT- my education and knowledge... PRICELESS, STARLING!! He he... Amazingly I haven't heard a peep out of him regarding my new obsession with Hobby Lobby and its craft section. AND he's even been a good sport about my sparatic need to redecorate.
Last night Starling was EXHAUSTED and laying in the bed pestering a YAWNING and eye sagging Brooklyn. Brooklyn wouldn't go to sleep until Mommy came to the Night Night. SOOO I put down the tulle. Reluctantly. And a bit Resentfully. I sighed and went into the bedroom to say prayers with my little family. When we were done saying prayers, Starling got in the coma position prepared to get a good nights rest. BUT... something caught my eye. The same thing that catches my eye EVERY night. The whopping shelf that just takes up the WHOLE walkway on Starling's side of the bed. AND like I say every night, "That thing needs to move somewhere. We should move it against THAT wall." (THAT wall being beside the head of the bed where Starling's little table thing is). AND like Starling TELLS me EVERY time I say this, "Wendi. You say that EVERY NIGHT. IT WON'T FIT. Now lets go to bed."
NOW, Starling HAS "technically" MEASURED the shelf and the space on the wall. AND YEH- he says it won't fit. BUT, I was sitting there STARING at the shelf, than the HOLE.... It SHOULD fit. SOOO what do I do?? Go to bed and drop it like a good little wife?? Uh. NO. I went and got the measuring tape, MEASURED... rounded... (bc all those little lines between the numbers are confusing to me)then did the same thing to the space. OK... well.. I figured it was within an inch or two... so it should fit. I'd rounded so I couldn't be 100% CERTAIN... BUT I would MAKE it fit if I had to saw off the base boards in that spot.
To Starling's utter dismay and/or HORROR, I yanked the covers off the bed. I began moving stuff off the shelf and grabbing up anything in the way of my endeavor. Starling moved off the bed just in time for me to yank the mattress out from under him. A king mattress that weighs about four times as much as me. Good thing I've been lifting weights.
"What are you DOING??" He asked. LIKE he didn't KNOW. If you can't beat her (figuratively or literally), JOIN her. SOOO as he was saying, "Wendi... why don't you just let me measure it so I can SHOW you it won't fit," he was ALSO lending a hand to a work he knew would ensue WITH or WITHOUT him. "I already measured!It looked about right." He glared at me, "What WERE the measurements?" I shrugged, "20 something with a couple of those lines- can you lift?" WELL we had to move my DRESSER over... the BED over... move a table and our little fireplace thingy... Starling was shaking his head through the ENTIRE process mumbling things like, "You are one hard headed, stubborn little girl. You can't MAKE something fit that won't fit." I looked at him, "SURE I can. YOU'LL SEE! It's going to look SOOO much better! I promise!" He sighed, quite DRAMATICALLY, if you ask me, and continued DRAGGINg furniture across the room.
Well- for one... I measured from the top of the bed, not the bottom. (And we put high riser things under our bed that take up space on both sides of the bed. While Starling was, and I kid you not, singing, "It doesn't FIT," in a Snoop Dog voice, I was racking my brain. The bed KIND of FIT except it was too big. SO I messed around with the high riser things until it fit. BUT the square block things that make the bed taller were kind of side ways so when Starling touched the frame the whole bed wiggled. "Oh- that's fine! Who cares about that? Put on the mattress." Starling cackled, feeling a bit of 'I told you so's' coming on. "It MATTERS. You can't leave the bed unlevel." SO. I leveled it. I have a big ole bag of hospital panties that I SHOULD toss... BUT after I have another baby I'm just going to LOVE wearing those elastic-less no constricting panties again. I don't care how utterly REPULSIVE they are to the eye... my gut and legs think they are the greatest thing since someone made chicken fry. SOOO I just STUFFED those panties all up in that unlevel part until, a shocked Starling said, "hu...it doesn't wobble," and shook his head wondering what other redneck, rig-uh-mu-roe request I would make. NOTHING too bad... I just told him I wanted to repaint our room. AND I wanted to make ALL kinds of cool things to go on the walls. He didn't bother arguing. His eyes just bugged out of his head before they rolled back behind his eye lids. Since it was like two a.m. or something, he didn't feel much like talking about redoing our room. Again.
But lucky for him, today was Sunday. It was Conference Sunday... which happens twice a year and we get to watch our church leaders speak over satellite on the computer. (SOOO I didn't force him to paint anything). My tear ducts really got a nice workout. I'm pretty sure that all the debris that may have been clogging them has been properly excavated at this point. AND above all... my favorite talk from Conference, which was actually given LAST week at the Relief Society Conference, was "Forget Me Not" by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
(Join me in LEFT FIELD). I seriously sqwalled. If you are in need of a PICK ME UP- a motivational reminder that GOD loves YOU... You HAVE to watch/listen/read "Forget Me Not." (And even though you'll cry- its like a GOOD cry- like a "I'm going to go into the world and CHANGE it and leave my footprint in the sand!" kind of cry...) And its funny, too! Do you want to know HOW MUCH I loved this talk? I listened to FOUR hours or so of conference and THEN I said, "Starling... you HAVE to listen to THIS talk." And made him sit through MORE spiritual brain food. Its directed to the women... but men can find it fabulous, too. (Look it up on my FACEBOOK page... I shared a direct link). OR copy and paste this into your browser:
http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng
OH and WHILE I'm on the subject of spritual brainfood- LADIES AGAIN- There is a FREE Women's Conference on Friday October 21st from 7:00-9:00 pm and Saturday October 22 from 10:00a.m. to 3:30p.m. It is going to be incredible! Lunch is provided and everything! Register at Hattiesburgreliefsociety.blogspot.com. (And if you don't register- you can still show up!!) They just want a count for food prep. I'd love ALL my friends to come so if you are reading this- YOU ARE INVITED!! Call me with questions 601.270.5808.
ANYWAY- back up to bat. SO THEN after listening to the morning session of Conference I went to see my new nephew Kohen Eric Johnson. I guess since Brighton is only four months old and I can still remember EXACTLY how he felt in my arms after he popped out of me like a kernal of corn, I just can't get enough of baby Kohen. I mean REALLY- I came home and immediately compared his and Brighton's baby pics... they don't look identical or anything but their little facial expressions and their little fuss is so similar I kept telling my motherly instinct to "CHILL OUT!! That ain't your KID, Wendi!" at the hospital. And DESPITE having a four month old (that looks like a two year old- in fatness anyway) holding a newborn did that THING to my insides... newborns talk to my Uterus. They say things like, "Aren't I cozy... warm... don't you want a little hamster growing inside of you??" My uterus was totally getting onboard to my horror until the newborn said the wrong thing, "Don't you miss having a little bundle inside of you? Kicking and rolling around?" THAT is when my uterus snapped back to attention and out of Yellow Fluff World. "UMMMM NO. I do NOT miss be prego THANKS very much!" My bladder and stomach joined in the conversation. My bladder screamed, "I prefer holding MORE than a cup of water at a time! And NOT being yelled at every two hours ALL night long by a crazy lady that thinks yelling at me will make me better capable of holding pee longer." My stomach added, "And I prefer to have food stay in me for longer than an hour. The whole 'Here's ya food-NOPE-I'm taking it back UP and OUT' didn't really work so well for me."
SO- I came home with my "MOMMY drive" back in its rightful position. ON HOLD. Its CRAZY how my emotions can get so easily flustered into thinking crazy... I blame it on the female in me. It makes me succeptible to all KINDS of Nonsense. Two year plan. I am NOT going to be pregnant during Christmas. WOW!! That like NEVER happens!!
I have TWO things on my Christmas list. #1 a camera lens. #2 a Weed-eater that I can crank all by myself. And it needs to be a.. flat? GEEZ- I already forgot what kind I'm supposed to want. The kind that I can turn sideways so I don't have to buy a seperate edger. OH #3 a bunch of Mulch and Round Up.
AND #4,5, and 6- my MASTER BATH FINISHED!! Now... how can I NON chalantly get Starling to read my blog....
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