Dear Blog,

I have to write since it’s been like half an eternity since I last blogged. I have GREAT news. Our master bath has a painted closet (SOOOO the twenty piles of STUFF that were stacked- and later, on account of our DEAREST Brooklyn, strewn- all over our house are FOR the MOST part, BACK in the closet). SECOND- John the 2nd has joined us in the bathroom and sits bold and proud as all ceramic thrones do. He likes sitting in the upright position in the master bath instead of upside down and disgracefully exposed in Brighton’s room. (Although- I liked him in Brighton’s room awaiting his new position better than when he sat on our front porch greeting all of our visitors). Like I said. GREAT things happening in the Johnson home.

The master bath is ALSO painted, but not trimmed out… (okay- I AM the trimmer sooo I can’t complain about that part… BUT Starling is the ceiling artist that is going to blend the skip trial (that CAN’t be how that is spelled…) from where we moved walls for the remodel SO I can’t do MY part until he finishes HIS part and I blend the PAINT on the ceiling. So I can totally blame the hold up on HIM. As for the HALLWAY- Starling has RE-MUDDED like a CUZILLION random spots that I never knew were problematic. (I do NOW because the once unnoticeable imperfections painted the same color green as the REST of the hall, are NOW HUGE WHITE glaring UNFINISHED, and quite frankly distasteful to the EYE, BEACONS). So I’m REALLY happy that Starling hasn’t been able to wrap up work early this week and PAINT them. Oh! Why don’t “I” just do it MYSELF? GLADLY. I’ll just duct tape Brooklyn to the LIVING room WALL while I attempt rolling the HALLWAY. AND, assuming Brighton doesn’t need to eat for 6 hours, THAT plan will work perfectly. EXCEPT for one thing... MY INABILITY to ROLL paint. Starling has BANNED me from doing it. (Believe it or not he's a perfectionist when it comes to his walls- hence the dang constant WHITE spots appearing all over our house that I have to KEEP covering up. And then HE has to RE-cover-up because my painting sucks more than a vaccuum).

OMY. SPEAKING of BRIGHTON and EATING. (That was a couple of sentences back before I went off into left field, IF you've gotten confused and lost in my rambling). His appetite has INCREASED. I know I shouldn’t be surprised… he’s over 20 pounds now… but I’m the COW. The GREAT PRODUCER of CREAM and BUTTER. And NOW… AFTER Brighton is done nursing, and I mean done like he can’t suck another drop out of either fritter, he wants MORE. So- okay- this is new to me… tonight he was OBVIOUSLY getting frustrated that his dinner was done before HE was. I was TOO because usually he eats and there’s plenty left for him to snack on later. BUT anyway- he was STILL hungry. (Honestly I feel like I offer him a dang all you can eat buffet and he leaves saying- that’s it? I’m still not full). Insanity is what it is. I opened up a jar of babyfood. Sweet peas. (More on the mush and goop than sweet or peas but WHATEVER). He ate half of the jar and didn’t want more of that. BUT he wanted more of SOMETHING. So I fed him an ENTIRE jar of applesauce. I suppose he would've continued eating THAT until he burst, so I just told him he was done. THEN he got a nice little bath, we had family time (Mommy mandated) in the "night-night", and then he FLOPPED about like a snow penguin until he’d maneuvered his way BACK to my boob and he nursed to sleep. And SLEEP?? The boy is like a dang bear going into hibernation. He SLEEPS forEVER. OR until I wake him up… which I usually end up doing. And when he DOES wake up, he forgets to YELL for me and so I don’t know HOW long he just chills waiting for me to realize he’s come out of his cave.

NOW BROOKLYN. SLEEP? Ya-NOT so much. If I go to bed at midnight, SHE goes to bed at midnight. If I wake up at 5 in the morning, SHE wakes up at FIVE in the morning. It’s like she has little sensors that go off if I wake up. I’m seriously SHOCKED I don’t find her at the bathroom door when I go pee in the middle of the night. ALTHOUGH I DID this morning.

She’s very needy right now. I figure it’s to be expected with all the projects we’ve been doing. (WHICH is why I haven’t been blogging). AS I type and take yet another THIRTY minute BREAK prolonging this dang BLOG from being COMPLETE, she is asking, and I mean 10 times in a row, “Can you come and play house with me please, Mom?” And I’m off to do that AGAIN. How can I resist her SWEET side?

Okay… Starling is now reading to Brooklyn in Spanish. So I made my get away. That sounds so harsh- like I'm trying to get away from my child. Like I don't LOVE and CHERISH all 24 hours and seven minutes I am BLESSED to spend with her EVERY day of my ENTIRE LIFE. TRUST ME. I'm not trying to get away from her. I do NOT value my BLOGGING over Brooklyn wacking "MY" babydoll's head with HER baby doll's hand and sending HER baby to time out. Over. And OVER again. I really don't. But- for historical purposes and family memory preservation, the BLOG must go ON.

I LOVE when Brooklyn tries to talk Spanish with her high pitched little lisp. She’s the cutest thing… except when she’s NOT being cute and being a little turkey. BUT she’s MOSTLY cute.

We’ve been unpleasantly SHOCKED at her this week with her saying things like, “PLEASE leave me ALO-O-NG.” (Not alone. Along). “PUH-LEEEZE go AWAY.” But in the next instant she’s all butterflies and kisses. I’m kind of seeing what life must be like through STARLING’s eyes living with ME. WHICH is utterly depressing.

FOR THE RECORD- I haven’t had a single BREAKDOWN ever since I started popping pills like balloons after a fiesta. Three magnesium, three fish oils, an iron, and a prenatal. EVERY DAY. (Its probably working because I spend so much time CALCULATING and counting when and WHAT pill to take- I have no TIME to go berzerk). I still have an occasional mood swing which occurs in direct relation to the whininess of my CHILD (not children- Brighton hasn’t gotten to the whiney stage yet) and/or the hour my husband returns home from work and WHAT pass time he THEN chooses. Like- if he CHOOSES to clean the kitchen… NO mood swing. If he starts looking at guns on the internet… MOOD SWING. But those are completely justified and have nothing to do with my raging hormones, THOUGH STARLING likes to BLAME my hormones for EVERY harsh word I ever throw at him. Dried sunflower seeds stuck to the bottom of plastic cups can NOT illicit RAGE. Nor can dirty socks, random shorts/shirts, dirty dishes, etc draped or dropped over my furniture in a room I just finished cleaning. ONLY my HORMONES are capable of making me angry. Period.

That being said, I better take my meds with me on our adventure tomorrow. Starling insists that the pills I’m taking cannot POSSIBLY do what I THINK they are doing. OKAY- well that is a WHOPPING FABULOUS sugar-pill affect and I’m just going to KEEP on BELIEVING as LOOOONG as I can. BECAUSE I tried to believe in a lot of OTHER pills that did NOTHING. UNLESS you count the cuzillion SIDE effects, in which case- they did a LOT to WORSEN me. We’re off to the CHIC FILET opening in Baton Rouge tomorrow. Another family camping trip. Another 104 value meals IF we are the first 100, which we PLAN to be…. Assuming I didn’t blab to SOOO many people that they fill up the parking lot before WE get there. And I should be able to actually wear make-up. Getting ready is now a two day process and I mean that quite literally. TODAY I showered and WASHED my hair. Usually that’s as far as I get. BUT- I went all out and DRIED my hair with a BLOW DRYER… instead of the fan drying it while its scrunched under my head on a pillow get yanked and tangled by Brooklyn’s fingers. I even had great dreams of actually applying MAKE-UP… but THAT didn’t happen. So. TOMORROW I’ll put on make-up and my hair will only have to be brushed. THAT I can manage in ONE DAY. Hopefully.

I need to go to the gym but its 10:30 and I could carry luggage in the bags under my eyes. Sooo I think I’ll have to go TOMORROW or just SKIP until we get home Thursday. My poor brain thinks it’s been transplanted into some nutsy productive person’s body lately and its having a very difficult time functioning at such a high pace. No naps. No breaks. Its ready to shut down. Its bogging down like this stupid computer! (which is an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT story for a DIFFERENT day).