Lets get Complicated

OKAY. So Starling and I have been REALLY happy lately. I got my CAR BACK, we closed on the Oak Grove land, my moods are like a NORMAL woman (so only MILDLY spastic). We've been having more time to spend as a family. So, OF COURSE, I am COMPLETELY discontent. SOMETHING has to change! Usually when things get real good I go off and get a new PET to challenge my family's sanity... or I get pregnant... but I already have a Dog, a Cat, and a Rabbit. AND a two year old and a six month old. Unless I get a goat, I'm out of ideas.

So I think I spaced writing about my CAR. Not the FIRST, SECOND, or SIXTEENTH thing... but the LAST thing. Lets see... QUICK refresher...so I finally got my car BACK from North Carolina and the FIRST thing I did was get stuck in a RANDOM parking lot in Collins (because I got lost and couldn't find my way back to HATTIESBURG and PULLED into a parking lot and into a huge HOLE where a WATER fountain had been removed). No. I did NOT see the MOON sized CRATER before MY new car was STUCK unable to go FORWARD or BACKWARDS. That was okay.. I flagged down some dude on a BIcYCLE who flagged down some dude in a TRUCK, who happened to work nearby and got a HUGE chain and yanked me out of the hole with only MILD judgement on my inability to SEE the GINORMOUS hole in the small parking lot. It only ripped up everything under my car. I thought Starling would've murdered me, but he only held his breath, and the steam exited his ears silently. (OH HOW different we ARE)! Then I was told I couldn't get a tag in MS and we had to take it BACK to North Carolina for them to FIX the title. I got my car back AGAIN. ONE YEAR LATER. Immediately Starling drove it through a parking lot and one of those sewage lids POPPED up and gashed the bottom runner thing. (I can't even SPECULATE on the NAME of that part or HOW FURIOUS I was- hypocrite? maybe...), that was bad but I got my TITLE so I was THRILLED!! THEN I drove my car to the Zoo in New Orleans and tried to parallel PARK and did GREAT until I had to back out. I did JUST like I was supposed to do. LOOK in my side mirror. I watched it RIGHT up until it POPPED off because I was passing a pole. Luckily some dude was walking by and handed me my mirror so I had something to give to Starling when I got home. I thought he'd finally throw his hands up in the air and tell me he gives up! I need to drive a bus because I can't take care of a car, but he just put his eyes back in his sockets and reattached the mirror. THEN I got my TAG FINALLY!!! THEN, my Inspection sticker was expired so I went and got that. I DROVE out of the PARKING lot and onto HWY 98 thinking THIS thought. "I am FINALLY LEGAL with a TAG and an INSPECTION sticker in my PRETTY CAR!" As I THINK this thought, the car in front of my slows down rather rapidly. Not to FEAR, the NEW and IMPROVED driver that I am, was following a safe distance behind so I tapped that brake. No problem. EXCEPT I heard squealing tires and so I pressed my brakes HARDER. MY foot was FLAT on the floor board and I STILL heard squealing brakes and then BAM!! And even though I was completely braked, my car was lurching forward. BUT then the people in front of me drove off!

I sat in my car for a FULL 64 seconds confused as a child trying to pick up a cemented penny wondering how in the HECK I hit those people in front of me. THEN when someone started banging on my WINDOW, I realized HALF HORRIFIED, half relieved that I didn't hit someone. Someone hit ME. Of COURSE it was a GINORMOUS truck that had a BIG METAL POLE/ RAIL thing GUARDING it like some dang WAR tank. So my CAR was completely destroyed. THEN the NEXT day I drove my LOVELY pile of metal to SAM's and when I LEFT I noticed someone had SLAMMED a buggy into my driver's DOOR.

Yeah. I was ready to ACCIDENTALLY blow up my car and collect the insurance money. BUT- my luck I'd burn my hand, or catch on fire, get caught, and spend the next ten years being some psycho woman's girlfriend in some jail cell. I would rather ride around on a SCOOTER for the next ten years than THAT- SOOOOO I just chewed Starling out instead (since it had ANYTHING to do with him and all) and then dropped my new and destroyed car off at the Auto Collision Fix It people. I got to drive around a rental car for two weeks while they fixed it. I don't know what kind of car it was... but its the closest I've ever come to riding in a Hurst. An HMR or MMR or something like that. It was DEFINITELY made for speed. It went zero to sixty in like... three. Days.

So when I went to get MY car back and I saw it shining there in front of me... Not only did I have a new bumper and trunk, but they had washed and waxed and vacuumed my car, I was ecstatic! And even though when I barely touched the gas and it LURCHED me forward into traffic and I nearly peed my pants, I was SOOO happy to be driving in traffic in MY car. And I have taken REALLY good care of it since I got it back. I'm trying SO hard not to run things over and so far so good, except for the little bush I had to take out because I couldn't seem to get around it. And I really WAS sad about that... its one of the crate myrtles that Starling planted. He hasn't looked at it yet. I hope it lives, but that crunch it made when I ran it over didn't sound promising.

ANYWAY- I have NO idea why I got off on my car. I'm SUPPOSED to be writing about the BIG CHANGE!! SO... since everything is GOOD again- Starling and I found out WHY!

LOOOOONG story short- BEFORE Starling and I ever got married, or went on a DATE for that matter, (I think it was the 2nd time we'd ever MET) we decided we would have five children, the FIRST would be named Brooke, (to carry on the Wind and Star earthy garb) and we would foster care/ and or adopt some kids. THEN we DID date and we spent PLENTY of time talking about youngins. We weren't convinced that WE, as a COUPLE, would exist in five years, but we were CERTAIN that we wanted TONS of kids. Well, we got married, and I IMMEDIATELY wanted kids. Starling wanted me to finish school first. I was SO VERY INTO Social Work in college and THEN was told that if I worked for DHS I couldn't foster care. So? I did some severe praying and switched to Psychology. Some lady actually found Starling and me and asked if we'd adopt her twin grandson's. I was a WhOPPING twenty years old. Starling was 25. Too young? Barely married? We sent up ONE prayer, told the Grandma that YES! We'd do EVERYTHING in our power to get those boys! And we did. I called Texas every day in between classes and HOUNDED the Social Worker in charge of the twins. She was RUDE and UNHELPFUL and completely peeved that I even KNEW about them since they weren't UP for ADOPTION. AND then she told me I was entirely to young to be considered anyway.

BUT! The whole experience completely altered our universe and Starling and I were determined that we WOULD indeed foster care. So we went through the classes while I was pregnant with Brooklyn. BUT once I had Brooklyn I got cold feet PLUS our house was in NO WAY ready to hold ANY kid, let alone TWO. Then we got comfy. SO we prayed about it again, didn't feel like it was the right time, and so I started getting in shape so I could join the Reserves, and I found out I was prego with Brighton. We kind of stopped thinking about Foster Care. We'd been told it wasn't the right time so MANY times, that we just stopped praying about it. UNTIL we got all comfy this LAST time. I was reading something very dear to me that I read often, and it HIT me that I needed to pray about Foster Care again. I went through my normal list of justifications... #1 I have two children- how would they be affected with another child #2 We wouldn't have any idea what kind of kid we'd be bringing into our home #3 We are so HaPPy right now... WHY am I always on some MISSIOn to complicate the simple? #4 How am I going to say NO if God tells me YES?

So. I waited. I have gotten paranoid with two babies. I am WAY obsessed and over-protective. They SLEEP with me. They go where I go. I have never hired a babysitter. I've left Brooklyn with FOUR people, only ONE not being related to me. I shield my home from Satan's little scary people like the Media shields liberalism. I guard what my children watch on Netflix, what they listen to, who they play with, where they go... I have to admit, foster care has seemed LESS and LESS appealing... what with all the horror stories out there... But when I prayed... I felt a SURE enough peace about it as distinct as jumping into a cool pool on a hot MS summer day. All I said to Starling was to pray about it. I figured he has a harder head than me when it comes to praying about things he may not want to get the answer to... but he surprised me and didn't put it off. And he got the same answer I did. It is TIME.

SOOOO we just went to the class again. TWO days 9 to 5. Brighton went with us and was PERFECT the whole two days. (He's making up for it now with his 4 top teeth coming in but he needs a chance to fuss or I'm going to start thinking he's not really my kid or at least ALL STarling's kid with NONE of my GENES). NOW we are filling out the HUMONGO packet and getting our ducks in a row.

Foster Caring is ALREADY a blessing... NORMALLY its like giving an aligator a ROOT canal without losing an arm to get Starling to part with stuff... ESPECiaLLY furniture... but since we have to make room for an extra child, we've torn our house APART moving stuff OUT. I'm so impressed by Starling's willingness to part with his belongings! I don't know WHERE we are going to stash all the stuff that I was hiding in and under dressers and furniture BUT we'll manage. (That garage sale pile is filling up an entire storage unit AS we speak- and still growing). It feels SOO liberating to be FREE of STUFF. I am emotionally attached to PEOPLE onLY. Now. Having said that- we are going to have a dang WONDERLAND in our back yard for our kiddos because our friend's dad just gave us an AWESOME play house thing to go with our already cool swing set. (Which is SUCH a blessing because Starling WAS planning to BUILD one WHICH- add that to his 974970873 OTHER projects- would TAKE a LOOOONG time)! So I'm hoping that means all the building supplies he has out there can dissipate since he no longer needs them! woe... all this talk about cleaning almost got me hyped up enough to go PAINT! almost.

ANYWAY- we've talked to Brooklyn about foster caring and she is REALLY excited. (Because a two year old KNOWS what having another kid live with us is going to be like. She TOTALLY comprehends the term "fostering"). I asked her if she would like a little boy or girl to come live with us and she said, "OH YES!! A BIG ONE! ONE BIG AS ME!" which is the plan... between 2 and 6. Its bringing our family closer just in preparation. Well... and farther apart- at least in the SLEEPING department. We have to have BOTH kids sleeping in THEIR beds with a BEDTIME before we get our new kiddo. (Our rules not the state's). I can just imagine the TRAUMA my two screaming kids would cause a child already terrified of sleeping in a new place. And I'm PRETTY sure its illegal to just ADD a third kid to our bed. The state would probably think we were a couple of Michael Jackson's.

Anyway- its going to be awesome! If we only foster ONE kid- and can make a difference to that ONE kid... then my life will be THAT much more fulfilled and my kids will be THAT much more understanding of people. And our family will be enriched and blessed and hopefully other families will see that fostering CAN be a blessing and feel the need to hit their knees and see if they have it in their hearts to open their homes to a child who is in desperate need of love. There are TONS of kids in need all over MS. And when we asked how many foster families are in Hattiesburg, the social worker said she only knows of 10. And YES, it'll be a sacrifice. And YES we will be making our home vulnerable to the unknown. But, I want my kids to know about sacrifice and helping people more than I want them to know about coveting video games and cell phones. And if its too much? Then we'll stop. Its not permanent. Until we adopt.

But on a lighter note, at least Starling doesn't have to worry about me dragging home a GoAt!